Jay Quinn, a devout Christian, noted artist and author, and impassioned connoisseur of life’s richness and beauty, passed away July 28 at his home in Chapel Hill, N.C., as family, friends, and faithful canine companion Henri kept vigil. He had recently celebrated his 67th birthday.
Born Harold Brian Parks, Jay changed his name as a young adult, an early manifestation of the boundless creativity and independent spirit that defined him. Fiercely loyal, he developed lifelong ties with like-minded seekers of truth and understanding of the world’s mysteries, above all with beloved husband Jeff Auchter, who died in 2023.
Jay’s five novels plumbed the depths of gay life and culture and the challenges of mental illness. Out Magazine named him one of the nation’s 100 “most impactful and influential” LBGTQ people in 2005. His work was featured in the podcast, “This Queer Book Saved My Life!,” in which he described himself as a “polymath” with interests that ranged widely. They included fluency in French, collection of artisan rugs and furnishings, and deep knowledge of religious iconography.
Out Magazine’s citation read in part: “In ‘Back Where He Started,’ poetic gay Southern writer Jay Quinn … effectively knocks down literary walls, challenging notions that queer life loses its bite after age 40. The critically acclaimed novel explores one man’s life in the Outer Banks of North Carolina after his partner of 22 years leaves him for a woman. The book deftly details its protagonist’s struggles with faith, fatherhood and starting over at midlife.”
Jay also penned a nonfiction work, “The Mentor: A Memoir of Friendship,” about the challenges of growing up gay in the South and his early relationship with longtime friend and confidante Joseph Riddick, now a resident of Hillsborough. The book was a 2001 Lambda Literary Foundation Award finalist. Additionally, Jay edited “Rebel Yell,” a collection of short stories by Southern gay writers.
An accomplished painter, Jay produced works with a clean, illustrative style, by turns graphic, poetic, realistic and abstract, influenced by his extensive study of art history and his experience with an Outer Banks advertising agency.
Jay’s artistic talents blossomed early in his hometown of Goldsboro. He attended the North Carolina School of the Arts as a drama student and acted in numerous community stage plays. As a young teen, he landed the role of Friedrich Von Trapp in a performance of “The Sound of Music,” performing alongside lifelong friend, Janet Conway Rose.
As a junior and senior at Goldsboro High School, he was a member of the Humanities program, which cultivated a love of literature, history and the arts. He and his classmates took part in theatrical presentations and made inspirational journeys to Washington, D.C., New York and Europe.
Jay earned a bachelor’s degree in regional and urban planning at East Carolina University. He attended graduate school at Columbia University in New York City and N.C. State University’s School of Design. He then relocated to Nags Head, where he worked as an engineering draftsman for a land surveying firm before joining William A. Ries & Associates, serving as a producer for the advertising agency’s video arm. He later was promoted to art director.
He eventually moved to Florida, living in Plantation, Coral Gables and Miami Beach, where he worked in marketing and met Jeff, a real estate marketing executive who would become his life companion. The couple eventually returned to North Carolina, settling in Chapel Hill. They married in a joyful 2018 ceremony at their home, officiated by Joseph Riddick and attended by close friends and family.
Jay struggled with progressive lung disease in his latter years, yet found humor in life’s sudden ups and downs. He retained his lifelong love of books and intellectual pursuits, often hosting convivial gatherings of family and friends for food and lively conversation. UNC Hospice provided excellent in-home care and many lives were enriched with their attentive and loving support. Jay’s Meals on Wheels and church friends brought constancy in smiles, conversation, and prayer.
Those who knew him best recall his sharp, mischievous wit and infectious laughter; his infinite love and kindness; and his empathy for those on society’s margins who face misunderstanding and rejection.
Raised a Southern Baptist, Jay converted to Catholicism and was a member of St. Thomas More Catholic Church in Chapel Hill. There, he welcomed an opportunity to serve as consultant for a group helping church families acknowledge and accept LBGTQ children.
Despite the church’s official hostility toward gay relationships, Jay never abandoned his faith in God, receiving communion and worshipping at home as his illness worsened. He transitioned at peace with this world, eagerly anticipating eternity with his Maker and those he loved who departed before him.
A funeral is scheduled for Sept. 5 at St. Thomas More Church; please see Services Schedule below, which will immediately follows this obituary on the Walkers Funeral Home website.
Survivors include Jay’s parents, Mary and Harold Parks, brother, Glenn Parks, sister in law Brenda Nielsen, all of Chapel Hill; niece Hanne Parks of Raleigh; Auchter family members including brothers-in-law Mark Auchter and husband Stephen F. Bryan of Fort Mill, South Carolina, and Rick Auchter and Anita; niece Alexzandra Auchter of southern Florida; and close friends John Flesher of Raleigh, Susie and Marc Barnes of Greensboro and MaryBeth McCauley of Colorado. Jay was preceded in death by his dear brother, Kelvin Parks.
In lieu of flowers, the family invites donations to Tarheel Weimaraner Rescue, at https://www.tarheelweimrescue.org/.
St. Thomas More Catholic Church
Funeral Mass lead by Father Rafael. A reception at the church for Family and Friends will follow the funeral Mass.
Visits: 2249
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the
Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
Service map data © OpenStreetMap contributors